NAN – Not A Number: a purported numeric representation found invalid by any CPU
Face down with my eyes closed for a moment on a brilliant
summer day
Switching my thoughts from dry and empty words to
illustrative imaging
Arms outspread and feeling for earth’s smooth rotation
underneath me
Smelling the moist brown sod beneath the green grass that’s
tickling my nose
Ears pricked to catch the silence of our planet’s revolution
about its star
Feeling the moon tracing around us, constantly changing her
expression
Alert to the momentary minuscule changes in the output of
our sun on my back
Aware of its rotational plane with respect to our own Milky
Way
Observing as I move slowly upward and somewhere away from
myself
Brain waves smoothing into that ancient, nearly-forgotten,
frequency and rhythm
Relaxing, smoothing and soothing every part of my conscious
anatomy
Anchoring at a center from which all things move away at the
speed of light
NAN
is not a number but it is the sum of all of my small experiences
My own unique personal version from one of the uncountable
different infinities
Feeling my heart slowing as it nonetheless inexorably tolls
my 3 billion allotted beats
Hearing an old German church bell again on that quiet Sunday
morning in October
But, jet-lagged and sleep-deprived or fit and well-rested,
my dust will be the same
Merging with smaller galaxies we encounter, on a route that
seems to be directed
Tracing a path through the cosmos without conscious purpose
and to no planned end
Aware of the bee as she buzzes about a neighbor of mine
standing here in full flower
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