In Reefer there lies Madness, but, yea, In Vino
Veritas
I wont ever get caught dead after going off red-faced and
loud, just looking for a fight
I can’t Even imagine beating up on the wife, abusing
my kids and kicking around our dog
Never curse, moan and stagger around the house in between
bouts of bilious vomiting
Don’t wake up sick, weak, foul-smelling and depressed again
on an otherwise fine morning
Sat very still in a calm silence, listening to the hum of
the great wheel as we all spun round
Gave thanks for the peace I was granted, knowing well it was
for just a few brief moments
Started to realize how short my life was and how carefully I
should choose far fewer words
Almost got hurt once from laughing so hard and long with my
friends that my stomach ached
Will not lose control of my truck and slam into innocent
families, to roll over and over again
Would never have picked up a firearm and stumbled off into
the night, gunning for something
Couldn’t dream of losing it all and blurting out slurred
insults laced with filthy obscenities
Never had to apologize later in the burning shame of blindly
and stupidly hurting those I love
Popped in ear buds and enjoyed the music as loud as I
wanted, without spreading any noise
Could even see just how lucky I was, and always had been,
and just sit giving off a little thanks
Calmed my heartbeat, lowered my blood pressure, slowed my
breathing rate… And it was OK
Why, I even thought about ways I might try to make things a
bit better, in some small way
Do not have to lurch around blind and crippled, breaking
stuff and accumulating guilt
Hadn’t the need for pain relievers and sunglasses simply to
be able to get out of bed
Did not awake to find I had spent a whole lot of money but
without any idea on what
Wasn’t nastily surprised to find new dents in my cars and
gross stains on my good clothes
Often spent unproductive hours quietly reading, fueled by an
herb-enhanced imagination
Rejected their warlike drumbeats and staccato metal electric
guitar strikes for simple acousticals
Was often overcome by a miraculous sense of the fleeting
nature of my tiny, dumb-luck life
Took time to peer down into the finer details and see some
more of their fractal connections
Never have to sleep it off in my car until I’m finally
sobered up enough to weave on home
Don’t awaken hoarse and hungover from drunkenly screaming
over some phony sports event
Can’t see dulling my senses, slowing my reflexes, losing my
reason and calling it unwinding
Don’t want to destroy my brain, poison my liver and ruin my
sleep patterns for no real reason
Sharpened my appetite, sparked my imagination and, yes, even
thought outside the box
Listened to my body, calmed my thoughts, relaxed and took
time to regroup and re-consider
Strove to slow things down just for a moment and put them in
their places before moving on
Quietly relaxed and fell into a good sleep to awaken calmly
and clearly on another lucky day
Wont be really starting to want more right when I should
know I’ve already had too much
Don’t have to try and dull the pain and smother the memories
only to make them both worse
Ain’t gonna suffer thru the guilt of blackouts, outbursts
and useless losses of time and money
Will never again have that first thought be a promise to
myself that This was the last time
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